


Exes and Ohs

by MissMal



Category: Darkwing Duck (Cartoon 1991), Disney Duck Universe
Genre: F/F, F/M, M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-01
Updated: 2019-05-01
Packaged: 2020-02-15 16:01:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,022
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18672931
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MissMal/pseuds/MissMal
Summary: Darkwing comes to a startling realization about his sexuality after a conversation from a most unexpected source: His girlfriend.





	Exes and Ohs

**Author's Note:**

> I've been meaning to write a quick one-shot about Drake Mallard coming out for awhile now, so here we are.

It seemed like just another typical date night when Darkwing dropped by Macawber Mansion for dinner (which he had come to dread, although Morg had gotten better about including more ‘Normal’ choices in her cuisine). There was the usual chatter as Darkwing updated Morgana on Gosalyn’s latest scheme that nearly earned his daughter a one-week school suspension (where did Gos even _find_ a moose to sneak into the boy’s locker room?!) among other favourite topics such as his latest victory against the criminal underbelly.

After the two had finished their meal of spaghetti-and-eyeballs (hey she was trying at least) they had somehow fallen into a rather tumultuous topic: Ex-lovers.

Darkwing, admittedly, had few ex-girlfriends to speak of, on account of his long-term dedication to becoming a mask-wearing crimefighter and not at all because he was a giant dork in high school that nobody liked. So like a true gentleman, he allowed Morg to go first.

For the occasion, Morg had dusted off her old yearbook from the Eldritch Academy of Enchantment. The two cuddled up on the couch together where Darkwing leaned over to stare at the various monstrous faces with equally-matching monstrous names. Morgana’s student body was certainly more interesting than his classmates had ever been. With perhaps the exception of Megavolt pulling his best Carrie impression at the prom.

They had stopped on a page with a younger Morgana and the ancient dried-out husk of her father, both smiling brightly in a pre-prom photograph that Darkwing couldn’t help but admire. Even then she was a striking as ever.

“It was dreadful, I had poured all my hard earnings into the finest spider-silk gown I could afford, and there I was, standing out on my front doorstep waiting for Wrenwick to pull up in his horse-drawn carriage.” She recounted with a lingering bitterness. “I had no idea he was busy riding my _cousin’s_ carriage instead.” Her sharp fingernails dug into the pages causing the yearbook to yelp (which in turn startled Darkwing, who would never adapt to the concept of sentient literature).

Darkwing sucked air through his teeth. He knew which cousin Morgana referred to - he had dealt with enough Malicia-related incidences of his own after all. This was all but confirmed when Morgana flipped to the next page, and he was met with the smarmy fanged smile of the boyfriend-snatcher in question, and the very _very_ plunging neckline of a dress that he avoided gawking at in his girlfriend’s presence.

“That’s uh, ol ‘Wren’ standing next to her I assume?” _Don’t stare at her chest, don’t stare at her chest._ “Mal hasn’t changed a bit either, I see. The uh, devil horns and daggers in her back are a nice touch. Your sharpie-drawing skills are incomparable, sweetums.”

“It’s an improvement don’t you think?” Morgana smirked. “But yes, that is the cheating ex in question. It was no big loss really, Wren was always rather full of himself. Or more accurately, he was _half_ of himself, after I got through with him.” She grinned at Darkwing who figured there was a 50/50 chance Morg was not actually joking.

“And now you have a far more loyal, daring, and should I also mention, waaay more handsome boyfriend.” He said with a flourish.

“But of course, darling.” She humored him with a quick peck on the cheek. “Anyway, it all worked out because I went to the prom alone where I befriended an upperclassman who had also been ditched by her date. We hit it off immediately, and stayed together until she moved overseas for grad school.”

“Uh.” This gave Darkwing pause. “By ‘together’, you of course mean you were the bestest of gal pals?”

Morgana blinked at him then burst out laughing. “Is that what you Normals call your girlfriends?”

“Well it’s just.” _Wow_. This was very confusing. “You said she’s a… she. And you’re not into…” He trailed off, unable to finish that sentence.

“Not what?” Morgana tilted her head, genuinely confused by his vague mumbling.

Darkwing tugged at his turtleneck. “You know.” Wow was it getting hot in here? Because he could really go for a drink or six. “A uh, woman who likes other… women.”

“Well of course, I’ve dated plenty of women, Dark. I know that’s something you Normals do too, I was watching this one episode of Real Housewives of St. Canard and Fifi Featherstack was-”

“B-but you’re with _me_.” He spluttered. “And _I’m_ not a woman. And you said you also dated that guy and _wow_ I am so confused right now.”

Morgana frowned. “I’m sorry Dark, I didn’t think you’d have a problem with that. I know you Normals are a bit odd when it comes to courting behaviour but I’d hoped you were a little more opened minded...”

“Oh no! I don’t have a problem with it! I mean, I don’t hate anyone like that.” He protested ardently. “It’s just… if you like women then why are you with me?”

This earned him another blank, confused stare. “Because I like men as well?”

Darkwing stared back.

And pondered on this.

“Dark.” Morgana furrowed her brows, but there was a hint of a smile. “It didn’t occur to you that you can like more than one gender?”

“Well I mean, I’ve _heard_ of it, it’s just, they always say that’s _just a phase_ you know? You’re either into one or the other.”

“Dark, that is quite possibly the most absurd thing I’ve ever heard you say.” She chastised him. “Who says you can’t be attracted to more than one gender?”

“THEY said it, and I always just assumed it was true!.” If only they were here!

“Well _they_ are fools.” Morgana crossed her arms and then sighed. “Honestly, you Normals… you get hung up on the oddest things.”

Darkwing rubbed his head. “So you’re into handsome crime fighting ducks and ladies, huh?” This would require some serious mental calibration.

“Among others.” She smiled.

“There’s other genders?!” Make that a major calibration.

“Well of course, you’ve met Cousin Globby after all. There’s more to just ‘male’ and ‘female’, so it’s not unusual for some of us to have a broad preference, back where I’m from.”

“Hold on, I think there’s a word for this.” He searched the depths of his memory. “I want to saaaaay… sporksexual? No that can’t be right… it was more something to do with pots, I think. Definitely in the realm of kitchenware though.”

“Dark, I haven’t the faintest clue what you’re referring to.” She was suppressing her laughter now. “But if you Normals have a word for someone who dates anyone regardless of gender, I suppose that’s what I am.”

Darkwing felt his stomach twist. This revelation had brought up a feeling he’d suppressed for some time now. While he considered himself a ladies' man (clearly, what lady who resist all of these fine feathers), there had been… moments. Very brief moments, when his mind had wandered toward… different thoughts.

Thoughts that emerged when, for example, he’d run into a sweaty bare-chested Launchpad post workout. And for a fleeting moment his heart would skip and he found himself averting his eyes with great prejudice.

He had told himself there was no possible way… because he _liked_ women. And Morgana was one he loved the most. So clearly that meant he couldn’t be into men too.

But now? If he could actually like both…

“When we first met, I thought Launchpad was your boyfriend.” She laughed. “You two seemed rather close, and I noticed how he looks at you sometimes.”

His eyes darted back and forth. She couldn’t read minds, could she? Hard to tell with someone who had turned him into actual pudding before.

“Well uh, I mean.” Again, make that twelve drinks. “If I’m being completely honest, Launchpad is easy on the eyes.” Then he raised his hands to protest. “Not that I’m saying I’d ever cheat on you or anything!”

But Morgana merely laughed again. “I know you wouldn’t. But if you do wish to explore that avenue… I have been in open arrangements previously.”

If this conversation kept up, Darkwing’s mind was going to melt. “You’re telling me you’ve dated more than one person at a time too?!”

“Well sure. But it’s always been a very clear and honest arrangement that everyone agrees to.” She took his hand in her own slender palm and squeezed it reassuringly. “I trust you, Dark. I know you wouldn’t hurt me.”

“Okay let me get this straight.” Then a pause to add. “Er, not literally.” Darkwing recounted on his fingers. “Anyone can like anyone and several anyones can be together at once, and the anyones can be of any gender? Is that what you’re saying?”

“I hate to confuse you more Dark Darling, but… it’s true that anyone can like anyone but there are also some who have a preference for just one gender as well. Like you previously assumed. That is technically true too.”

“...So some people do and some people don’t do all this… stuff. Right. Makes sense.” In a few days maybe once he mulled this over, anyway. “Okay, I think I can handle all this.”

“... also there are some who have no gender, and some who have no interest in being with anyone, and some who are attracted exclusively to the neuron-deficient and…”

“Gah! Morg! You’re going to make my head explode!” He tugged on the corners of his fedora. 

“I’m sorry, I know this is all a bit much to take in.” She placed a hand on his shoulder reassuringly. “Take the time you need to figure out what this means for _you_ , Dark, and we can figure out something that works for the both of us.” She was surprisingly sympathetic to his plight, which allowed him to relax. Morgana could be a bit… touchy, sometimes. Perhaps there was something to this whole ‘open and honest communication’ stuff he’d read about.

Darkwing chuckled nervously. “Let’s not get ahead of ourselves here, I’m still trying to figure out what this even means. But I’ll uh, put a pin in this ‘open arrangement’ idea. I mean, I don’t even know if Launchpad would be into that, or me.”

There was a moment of silence between the two that was broken by their shared laughter.

“Okay, yeah. Who am I kidding. Launchpad is easier to read than a children’s picture book.” He grinned. “He’s always had a thing for me.” He leaned back, stretching his arms behind his head and added. “Yep yep yep. Not that I can _blame_ him.”

“No, I can’t blame him either.” She leaned forward and pressed her bill against his with a reassuring kiss. “I’m glad we had this talk, Dark. Somehow I feel like this has made us closer.”

“It’s making me feel a lot of things.” He pressed a hand to his stomach, unsure if that groaning in his gut was from sheer nerves or tonight’s dinner disagreeing with him (even if most of the eyeballs had been quietly fed to a neighboring carnivorous plant).

He took her hand in his and kissed it tenderly. “Why don’t you show me more examples of your artistry which you’ve no doubt applied to every Malicia-related image in that yearbook.”

Morgana could only laugh. “Oh Dark, you know me too well. Oh! Here’s one from our time in the cheersquad when Malicia tricked the entire footghoul team into a shirtless sausage-eating contest... “

“Wow that is a lot of sausage and very little clothing.”

“She called it the ‘hottie dog challenge’” Morgana rolled her eyes. “And it somehow became a timeless Eldritch Academy tradition that continues to this very day.”

“Count on Mal to leave behind a profane legacy.” He chuckled.

As Morgana continued flipping through the yearbook, sharing all manner of stories both funny and heart-warming, their earlier conversation replayed in Darkwing’s head. Somehow, in some way, Morgana had opened him to something he’d repressed for so long and it felt freeing. _Terrifying_ , but freeing.

And also whether he could trick Launchpad into a shirtless hot-dog eating contest.

Better put a pin in that too.

**Author's Note:**

> And finis! Sorry it's not super in-depth, I just wanted to do my own take on bisexual Drake Mallard. Much of his bi-ases (hah, get it?) and realizations come from my own personal experiences as someone who struggled with my own bisexuality for awhile. 
> 
> I also have a pretty lengthy headcanon about pansexual Morgana and how her culture handles gender and sexuality quite differently. Hopefully I managed to convey some of that through her responses. 
> 
> The boyfriend-stealing nightmare known as Malicia is, as usual, a creation of mine.
> 
> I tossed in a couple throwbacks to "My Valentine Ghoul" and "Monsters R Us", as well. The dreaded 'they' strike again!
> 
> Thanks for reading and hope you enjoyed!


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